The Egg Guy


This post isn’t an attempt to be funny but it’s for the general public and car owners, yes car owners because you sure give people rides or lifts and those of us that move about via Mass Transit should also read this post. It’s is for our benefit and I am sorry this post is coming many years after my experience. Did I get you glued to your devices? I sure did, hahahahahahaha.

The 1st semester of my 2nd diploma year had me going for lectures just twice a week. I had classes Mondays and Tuesdays from 11.30am to 2.30pm which meant my weekend started on Tuesday afternoons. On a Wednesday morning I was lying in my bed watching a movie when the almighty PHCN struck. I started anticipating my next move, because I was bored stiff. I decided to go to Lagos since I wouldn’t be having lectures till the following Monday.

I got to the garage and was lucky to find a front seat in the bus (got long legs). I sat with a cutey (didn’t toast her o) and before we took off one dude decided to buy boiled guinea fowl eggs. He bought 6 and I am not exaggerating. The journey started and those that had music playing devices were listening to music and the already acquainted people were gisting while I brought out my FIFA magazine to read (I am sure the babe must have been cussing). As the journey progressed some offensive smell floated around in the bus. At this time the egg man had finished his eggs and though it was obvious he was the one killing us softly I wondered why nobody said anything. We got to Sagamu and the same dude bought egg roll (yea you posh guys call it scotch egg). Anyway he bought three and he ate all and I know you will find this hard to believe.

The journey went on and the guy kept on giving us silent missiles that could take down the whole of Sudan. We endured and even with all windows opened things didn’t get any better. At this point we were thanking GOD there wasn’t traffic. We begged the driver to go a little faster. We approached Berger and those that were to get down at Berger were glad screaming o wa o wa oooo (we are at our stop o). Some dudes that weren’t meant to drop at Berger too dropped just to get home alive. I was disgusted when I looked back and found out that Captain Pollution wasn’t getting off the bus. Now to make matters worse, the clown wanted to buy more eggs at Berger, immediately he called the egg seller, the rest of us in the bus (unrehearsed) screamed no you are not buying any more eggs, do you want to kill us? The driver said e file elede ni (leave him, he’s a pig). The egg man at this juncture was ashamed and kept quiet till the rest of the journey. Yea the rest of us made it home alive.

Like I said earlier this post wasn’t meant to be funny. Oh why did I state it’s for the general public? Yea just wanted to be silly but really would you want to sit next to the egg man? No? I thought so too.
Thanks for reading guys and do have a lovely week ahead. GOD bless.
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  1. That must ve been the longest journey from Ago-Iwoye to Lagos. I had such an terrible experience in Dec 2013 from Port-Harcourt to Lagos. Mehn,it wasn’t funny.


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