I have been celibate for a month now and I took that decision not because of health issues (at least none that I know of) but because I can choose to be and I want to be celibate. Oh my bad, when I said been celibate, I meant I have been off alcohol for a month. It is now up to you to believe whatever you want to, hahahahahahahaha. When I told my peeps about the new me, some encouraged the new me, while some said I haven’t been tempted well enough *sigh*.

The last time I had alcohol was at Elegushi beach a month ago, my man Dr. Evil had a little gig to mark his birthday. I had made up my mind 2 days before that I would quit drinking just after the party was over. After church on the gig day, I lay on my bed as always watching Suits (best series out there at the moment) when my friend came over to drop the latest episode for me. We gisted for a bit then he left because he claimed he had other stuff to do when I mentioned the beach gig to him. I also left home to meet up with Dr. Evil few minutes later; rocking my latest tee (will post pictures of it later), shorts, exposing my long sexy legs (lmao) and a pair of crocs. I got to where Dr. Evil was and few minutes later, the rain started and the beach plan was looking like it would be aborted. He called his girlfriend to find out where she was and she said she was about leaving home (babes with African timing sha). To cut the long story short we had to go and pick her and her friend up. It was still raining and we were supposed to pick my friend up in VI. I called her to tell her we were running a little late because of the rain and she sounded surprised when I said rain. She said it was sunny on the Island and I said okay telling Dr. Evil what she said and his response was “beach cruise back on”.

After picking up my friend, we headed to Shoprite to get drinks and food. They got champagne (I call it sprite because it’s all gas), Baileys, juice and red wine. Yea I know I said they, I wasn’t left out because I got me a bottle of Scottish whiskey and coke. Perfect way to sign out right? We bought rice, salad, chicken, fish and went straight to the beach. Two other guys were waiting for us at the beach. We ate, drank, gisted and the rest of the gang got up to pictures by the water side while I stayed put sipping easy. They came back and we were later joined by a couple at our table, the gisting continued and after a while we proceeded to one of the joints to dance. We danced for about an hour and left the beach at about 9pm. It was when we were leaving some people were just driving in; I mean who comes to the beach at that time? I didn’t know I said that out loud and the rest of the crew just laughed. I got the message instantly.

I finished the rest of the Scottish whiskey on our way (I think) and I told Dr. Evil that was my last drink (alcohol) and the dude just laughed.

The Temptations

After the last drink on that Sunday at Elegushi, my friend Femi came over to my place the following Friday and said we should go to a pub around. I didn’t hesitate and when we got there he ordered for a bottle of big stout and I simply asked for Power Horse. He was shocked, his mouth was opened for about 15 seconds. When I was taking my Power Horse the other dudes in the pub must have been like is he ill or something. The night went by and I didn’t have any alchy except two cans of Power Horse and a bottle of water.
Next temptation was the following weekend. It was my cousin’s wedding anniversary and you needed to have seen the booze available on this day. A few of my drinking buddies were around and it was looking guaranteed I would fall into temptation (Naeto C’s ‘devil is a liar’ kept playing in my head). It was the day Man Utd was playing against Man Shitty and the boys started drinking about an hour before kick-off looking at me with disgust because I said I quit drinking. One of my cousins went as far as saying Man U would lose because I didn’t drink. We did lose though and badly but I still didn’t take alcohol. I know you are already saying I haven’t faced serious temptation but for me to resist drinking in that situation was HUGE. I had happy hour and water.

Then the man I find hard to resist a drink with came calling last week. My man Ponche (remember him?). He invited me over to his zone and on getting there he took me to our favourite joint (their turkey pepper soup is off the chains and the nkwobi is fantastic) in the area and he ordered two bottles of big stout. I told the bar man to bring one big stout and a bottle of malt. Ponche looked at me surprised and asked if I was only taking the malt for starters. I said no that I had quit drinking. He said maybe I had too much to drink the previous night and I had a hangover. I smiled, downing my pepper soup and malt whilst watching Man Utd play Westbrom on my walka. We were beaten again and I had 1 more malt and nkwobi for the road. Ponche was so livid and vowed never to invite me over again. He sure didn’t mean it but he was pissed.

I know you Man Utd fans are now saying I should resume drinking so our beloved team can return to winning ways, while Shitty, Chelsea, Assnal, Spurs fans et al would want me to stay sober. GOD dey.

What is the moral of the story? I wasn’t preaching anything jor, I just had to put a post up.
Thanks for reading and do have a wonderful week filled with blessings.
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  1. Hmmmmmm. Remember buy 2 bottles get one free? If u don’t drink on or before ur birthday mr ogun, I will not even put cake preserved with alcohol in my mouth ever again!

  2. Get ready to be stigmatized by some friends, perhaps ‘ostracised’ by others.
    You also MAY (for emphasis) now start experiencing how easy it is for some pals to ‘forget’ inviting you over for a party – who wants a ‘party-duller’ around anyway? (LOL).
    Whatever reason you have for quitting this habit is best known to you. Atleast, thank God nobody has any cause to ‘bundle’ you to the AA school where you’ll…okay, your enemy (#YorubaThings sha!)…have reasons to get lectures from Bob Smith & Bill Wilson.
    It’s only time that’ll tell how long you’ll be willing to stick to your gun.
    But from me, I wish you all the best.

  3. How many peeps around me will randomly stop alcohol, its getting awkward and I feel its drawing closer to me than later. Like someone said, let’s wait till 29th, and if u do keep it up den u beta serve me water that day (na who be omuti?).


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